Siblings

I’ve noticed I’ve written on a lot on downer topics, so I’m trying to buck that trend starting now by writing about someone who’s very important to me, my sister. Siblings Day just passed recently, and not only did I learn that it was a day, but I wanted to write about when I had the right words.

Before starting this blog, I often had the thought of collecting my thoughts and insights into a written record in order to pass on my “wisdom.” I had ruminated over many topics and had compiled quite a list of hot takes. Thankfully, they only existed in my mind and never saw ink on a page, so I can happily spare you the cringe-worthy musings of a younger me. However, one thought persisted: “Siblings don’t inherently owe each other anything.” I feel that for those of us fortunate enough to have parents who cared about our development, we owe them a great deal, so it’s always very saddening to me when I see some people leave their parents in assisted living and seem to forget about them. Siblings, on the other hand, are made to have responsibility for each other. It felt artificial and it seemed to drive my more selfish tendencies in my younger years. I was our mom’s favorite and I wanted to keep it that way. I wouldn’t say that our fights were any different than most sibling squabbles, but there was this undercurrent of jealousy that seemed to tinge all of my interactions with her. It really wasn’t until she had gotten married and moved out that the hole she left made the impact that it did.

I reflected on all the moments we had and it really upset me that I couldn’t have been better to her. It’s not surprising that you don’t understand what you have until it’s gone. Since she left, I had to make more of a conscious effort to stay in touch, and in doing so, I feel like we are much closer now than we were. I’m amazed at what she has become and she inspires me every day. I don’t think she’ll ever see this, rather I hope she doesn’t, but I hope I can be a better sibling in our current relationship, and we can always be a part of each other’s lives.

[FR]

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